the ravings of a disturbed nurse.

What is it that compels normal people to poke, prod, pat, tickle, stroke and in various other ways, disturb a sleeping, medicated patient?

Is it a failing of character that once they are asleep they can no long pay attention to you?  And it is ALL about you, isn’t it?

If I am ever in the position to be sitting at the bedside of anyone who is sedated and settled and I feel compelled to pat them and prod them until they wake up, feel free to cuff me about the head.

And of course, I know nothing about what might be in the patient’s best interests. "he’s confused because of all the drugs!", momma claims.  NO, he is irritated that you keep trying to insist that he engage in interaction with you. He is sedated and wants to sleep. You know what happens to people when they are given benzodiazapams and then have some fool keep them awake?  They get agitated and irritable! That was not a reverse effect of the drug that you noticed previously, it was because YOU keep trying to disturb him. Granted, I realize that your being a tweaker during your pregnancy with him means you have to show all of us just how devoted and attentive you really are as a mother, but really, the only person you are fooling is yourself. I can smell the alcohol on you when you come back from your ‘smoke break’ and I know it isn’t hand sanitizer. Kudos to you for trying to explain to the child in adult terms what has been happening. Try not doing it when he is whacked out of his head. Just because he sits up does not mean he is lucid.

And guess what? We, the health care professionals, DO actually have a clue about how to sedate  and treat children who need to be ventilated and intubated.  If YOU as a mother had not kept a stash of candy and junk food at his bedside (I wonder what for), then he would not have eaten it when he was supposed to be NPO for surgery, Then he would not have aspirated during the OR and he wouldn’t be intubated with pneumonia now. So when we say NOTHING TO EAT OR DRINK, we actually mean it for a good reason. You are damn lucky he didn’t arrest.

And the reason he needs such high doses of drugs comes once again back to you. Tweaking during pregnancy effects the developing brain and so you child is born with a tolerance.  Just my theory mind you, but what do I know?



I think one of my many fans from the ‘I hate heath’ fan club might have cursed me. They, individually certainly have a lot of venom towards me, and I could see one or two of the more revenge driven ones who have previously threatened a ‘smack down’, giving it a whirl.

Now I’m not one for believing in outside supernatural powers like that, but it is certainly starting to feel ominous. I lay awake last night for a long time with a vague feeling anxious dread. So many places where things could go horribly wrong. Like….

Water. We never really give it as much thought and attention as it deserves. We are privileged spoiled brats in our country. You turn on a tap and out comes, mostly clean clear water fit for drinking, cooking or just wasting by running down the drain. And how often do you appreciate your indoor flush toilet? I’m betting not nearly enough. Every time you go in the bathroom you should marvel at the miracle. The city worker knocked on the door yesterday bright and early to tell me the water main was broken and they would have to turn off the water. Sure I said, and I figured a couple hours …….                                      hours later I still have no water.  More hours and the sun is setting and the little men and the big truck have disappeared. I called epcore to find out what the hell is going on. He assures me that they are still working on it. In the mean time, Ally comes home and is looking for water to try and clean a pan as nothing has been washed all day. So off I go to Safeway to BUY some water just incase this drought lasts through the night. After a long break, the second crew shows up. Sometime during Private Practice they are running water onto the street so I figure that must mean things are hooked up. So I run taps and brownish water(?) comes out and flush toilets until what I see is reminiscent of what I have been privileged enough to expect. Then I waste more water by running the dishwasher and the washing machine. Ah, the comforts of privilege.

Or Ally. I was sound asleep when the phone rang and she was crying and telling me she knocked her tooth out. I try to find out if it is completely out and she assures me it is through her weeping. I go pick her up wondering how it can be fixed as she says she doesn’t have the tooth. I know a knocked out tooth, put in milk and be replaced if does within a short period of time, but she doesn’t have the tooth. When I get her I find it is the corner of the tooth that is broken off.  She is a mess of course and her whole tooth is numb so she can’t feel how much is really gone. We get home and she is hyperventilating and trying to tell me what happened – a simple accident – yes, alcohol was a factor – and when she finally sees her tooth she starts all over again because now she looks like a hillbilly.

Or work. I had such a great job and now I don’t. I have a potential job, but until I have the actual title I only have a potential job and the current one is making that pain in my back every time I work. You know the one, the knife in the back pain just below one shoulder – which is interesting considering I was stabbed in the back. I find that ‘the betrayer’ as I now call her, has been trying to recruit my co-editor to continue the newsletter with her. My co-editor has declined so together we will put out the last issue of teh PICyUne Press for December. What the betrayer wants to then is up to her. I have had to be the one to tell everyone that I no longer have the quality position and that there has been no plan revealed to me about how it will carry on. People are disturbed and indignant for me and everyone feels that it was a real kick in the head after all the work and time and effort I put into this. Apparently Allan is asking why all the senior nurses are leaving. Perhaps I will tell him. I find it unfathomable that the medical director would not be consulted in such a change as eliminating the position I was in, especially given his passion about the quality improvement in the unit. I suspect there are darker forces at work there – such as barb and alf don’t see eye to eye on things. I also think barb may have reached her pinnacle of success in this position and is looking to move on…..just a sense I get. It would be rather ironic for her to leave after decimating the senior population of nurses in teh unit.

One thing that is going well is school. Who would have thought that I would actually enjoy it?  Well, actually, I would have thought that if I gave it any thought. Online learning is just right for me. One of my instructors is a little vague, but there are plenty of vague humans out there. Unfortunately vagueness is not a very good online quality for communication, but in 4 weeks this semester will be over and we will move on.  I really don’t have a much of a sense of my classmates – there are just too many of them to remember.

The only problem with the online learning is that it really leaves me so little time for my personal writing – that book may have to wait.

So I figure I need to do a magical cleansing and set up some guards to reflect and a way to lift that curse..


What the world needs now……..

I heard today that it is 5 weeks to christmas.  Wow.  With all the other crap going on I haven’t even given the time much thought….but there it is once again like clockwork. Strange how that happens.

So what’s new?

Well, I finally started an online Master’s in nursing program.  It’s a rather different experience but since I have become accustom to spending hours on the computer and being very self directed it works out well for me…so far. The APA format continues to be a challenge, but less so this time around.  Maybe I have less riding on this degree so I can not stress about everything, or maybe the university is not quite the APA nazis the faculty of nursing is at the UofA. I am so glad that I didn’t get accepted to the U – I’d be putting up with their crap by now instead of actually enjoying the classes and learning something. I recommend Walden university to anyone wondering about an online degree.

What else?  Well I have been relived of my wonderful position in the picu looking after all the quality and safety issues. Seems the money is needed for another position – the one it was originally designated for but couldn’t find an appropriate candidate.  I am not an appropriate candidate even though I have been doing the job for the past year because I don’t have the right paper. It’s all about the paper, never about the experience or the ability to do the job. Even though I was told that when I was accepted into a master’s program I could apply for the position.  Seems someone else who is closer to being finished her masters is seen as a better person for the position.

Pissed me right off. Apparently I can’t get the necessary education soon enough so I have been booted to the kerb.

I am so over it though. Looking onward to better things.  Actually looking at what is going on in picu I think I am better out of it.  Too much lack of leadership and too much control issues. I prefer a much more open system where chaos is allowed to structure order rather than someone trying to impose order. The manager types there don’t seem to get it quite yet that a different approach is needed.  Information must be shared openly and widely instead of squirreled away and dispensed in little bits. 

JD got his box of snowscrappers this week.  He was really pleased with them.  Apparently scrapping the windows in Kabul is necessary so I sent him 6 scrappers – 3 small hand ones and 3 longer windshield ones. Along with coffee and crackers, it got there fairly quickly.  I’ll have to send another one before christmas so he has at least some fresh coffee and chocolate to share around the non-existent tree.  I wonder if they can have a tree?  Wouldn’t that be offensive and seen as idol worshipping by the lunatics?

The video all over the news this week is the clip of the guy in the Vancouver airport who wandered around trying to find his way out for 10 hours and was finally tazared by the RCMP and died immediately.  I have to wonder though if there is no training given to not only the RCMP but the airport personnel about recognizing someone who is ill, cause just watching the guy you could tell he was sick.  Dehydrated, agitated and distraught and yet no one seemed to think to find a translator.  Worse his mother was there for hours trying to find him and the airport staff she approached were unhelpful and dismissed her concerns. Too many issues happened to just blame the RCMP.  If they take the fall then everyone at the airport better be also cast in the same net.