in the arms of morpheus

recent events have offered me the opportunity to lay with morpheus.  morpheus is a god of dream hovering between his siblings hypnos, god of sleep and thanatos, god of death.  He sleeps on an ebony bed in a dimly lit cave, surrounded by poppy flowers and has been present in cultures and civilizations since we climbed out of the trees, perhaps even the seas.    morpheus offers to his followers not only the land of dreams, but relief of pain and while we see much evidence of his corrupted dream cult in our current society, yet he still offers to many a benefit. or so I believed

I have often assisted worshippers into his embrace, but never experienced it myself…until now. given a dose to smooth a transport over the mountain to my home local medical teams, I found the close relations between morpheus and thanatos too intimate.  desperately desiring to slip beneath his heavy languor, a tiny voice whispered to me…Breathe! Big breath, that’s it! Another!

And then I would snort and rouse myself enough to greet consciousness and my travel companions. Abdominal pain and pressure continued to build all through the many hours of road travel until I found myself motioning for the garbage bag in the back and, with one hand only, vomiting neatly in the plastic bag.  Then again and again at the side of the road. The majesty of the Rockies forgotten while I removed the offending solutions from my stomach, my fellow traveller looked on a bit horror-struck.

My second experience was a few days later in the hospital following surgery. Morpheus accompanied me from the OR to the recovery and then the surgery unit. Given a second dose upon my arrival in the unit, I requested only 2mg but nursing staff elected to provide me with 5mg and pushed me deeper into the arms of morpheus. Shallow breathing, unable to rouse and go home, I struggled all day to remember to breathe, keep my airway open and to wake up. Finally, closing time was approaching and ambulation was attempted. 3 steps and buckling knees I was returned to bed to once again slip down into dream land.

A second attempt later and I pushed onward through the fog to pee, drink and get dressed. And then vomit.

Finally home I advised my watcher to check on me frequently and I slept, drank and vomited further.

Days later, my head clearer morpheus and I parted company. I cannot be a devotee of this god – he asks too much from me


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